Embracing Fate: A Captive Hearts Novel Read online

  “You’re not putting anything on until after I stitch you up.” He continued to scan my body, eyes narrowing as I shrugged on the robe. “One of the cuts on your back is down to the muscle. I won’t know about the others until I get a better look.” He spun on his heels and headed to the door.

  “Where are you going?” I called out.

  “You didn’t think I was going to stitch you up here, did you?”

  “Well…”

  He shook his head. “We have an entire set up downstairs for the club. I can examine you there.”

  “A set up? I wouldn’t think you and Jake would ever let something happen to one of your members.”

  “We don’t let shit happen if we can help it. And just so you know, the entire building is monitored for video and sound.”

  “The whole building?” I knew about the cameras in the lobby. My father had used them to send a message to Kevin.

  “Yes.”

  “You run a clinic out of here?”

  Kevin’s lips twisted. “Not a clinic, but our members don’t want to visit the emergency department if they don’t need to.” He made a vague gesture toward me. “Let’s just say accidents happen, even with the most stringent safety protocols in place.”

  “I’m just surprised.”

  “Don’t be.” He exited my room and headed down the long hall.

  Chapter 7

  Halfway down the hallway, I realized I didn’t have any shoes. Knowing what it meant for someone at Stripes not to wear shoes, I pulled up short.

  “Wait, I forgot my boots.”

  “Concerned what others will think?” Kevin snickered.

  Yes, for all the reasons he thought. My ego wouldn’t allow anyone to mistake me as a submissive. Prison failed to stamp out my pride, but I had another reason to demand my status at Stripes remain beyond reproach.

  This damn job Kate needed done. Or maybe it was Lily’s job? Hell, I didn’t know whose crazy scheme I had been roped into. It could be that FBI guy, Chambers, for all I knew.

  Despite the issue of my pride, between now and this damn auction, I couldn’t be seen as anything other than the monster they wanted me to portray.

  It would be nice to say it would be an act, but my gut said otherwise. The frank truth of the matter was that I would enjoy every bit of it. It was like sending an alcoholic into a bar and telling him he had to drink, but only the whiskey.

  My greatest fear was not being able to pull back and losing myself to the monster within.

  Kevin waited while I returned to put on my boots. I didn’t care what he said about the robe and Jake’s clothes. Not only would I not walk around Stripes barefoot, there was no damn way I’d walk around with only a robe covering my nakedness. I could always buy Jake new clothes.

  A hiss escaped my lips as I slipped on the jeans and the waistband rubbed against one of the cuts. The welt on my ass was swelling and forming a hard knot. If it had been anyone but Lily who had done this to me, I would curse them and plan my revenge, but I deserved each and every one of these marks.

  When I exited, Kevin waited by the elevator. He leaned back with the sole of his foot kicked against the wall. Phone in hand, the blue glow of the screen illuminated his face.

  He wore the years well, barely seeming to age since I’d seen him last. He still wore the facial piercings and kept his head shaved. Long and lean, I wondered if he was still into the ultra-long marathons he obsessed over in college. Kevin had always been hyper driven to succeed.

  While I studied business and finance in college, preparing to go into business with my father, Kevin kept his nose in the books and maintained a perfect 4.0 GPA. He went to medical school while I languished in prison overseas. Now a successful plastic surgeon, he had achieved all his dreams.

  He glanced up when the door shut behind me and his eyes pinched. “You suck at following directions.”

  Jake’s T-shirt strained over my chest and his jeans were tight on my hips. We’d always been exactly the same size, but like many things, that too had changed.

  Strength determined success in my world. Brains helped, but if you couldn’t defend yourself, you were dead. With barely any body fat, I was in perfect shape.

  “Look, you don’t have to do this,” I said. “I’m capable of going to the ER.”

  I wouldn’t go to the emergency room. They’d ask too many questions, and I didn’t know if my injuries required mandatory reporting to the police or my parole officer.

  It might only be for knife and gunshot wounds, but hell if I knew. Although, it would be fun to see the expressions on the hospital staff’s faces when they got a good look at the whip marks all over my body.

  “You’re capable of a lot of shit,” Kevin said with a grimace. “But you’re not stepping one foot in a hospital.”

  The elevator bell dinged and the doors slid open. I joined Kevin inside the too small space and stared at the illuminated numbers as they counted down the floors. We exited on the third level and Kevin stepped out first.

  He said nothing as he led me down a maze of corridors to a sterile white door. Inside, a small medical room had been set up, complete with an examination table.

  “Strip.”

  “Don’t think my pants need to come off.” I tried to lighten the mood as Kevin opened drawers and pulled out metal trays and supplies.

  “Just do it,” he said with an exasperated sigh. “The welt on your ass is concerning.”

  “Lily certainly didn’t hold back.”

  Kevin spun and his expression darkened. “Look, I don’t care what you think is happening here, but this isn’t the reunion of long-lost friends. You will never say her name in my presence again. As far as you and I go, Lily doesn’t exist.”

  “Kev…”

  “Don’t…” he said with a growl. “The only reason I’m here is because Jake asked, but you and I…” His knuckles turned white as he gripped the edge of the counter. “We’re not friends. I’ll be happy if I never see you again after this.”

  Not unexpected, his words still cut deep. It was too easy to forget the man standing in front of me hated my guts. I saw the boy I’d grown up with. The man who’d become my brother. He saw something else. To him, I was the monster who destroyed his world.

  Reprehensible things, my actions couldn’t be erased. I shucked the jeans and pulled off the shirt. The temptation to say I’m sorry flitted through my mind, but I was wise enough to know when to keep my trap shut. Naked, I pointed to the exam table.

  “You want me on the table? Or…”

  Kevin released his white-knuckled grip. “First, I need to see what she…what damage was done.” He waved for me to stand in the middle of the room.

  As I stood there, Kevin approached. I was no longer talking to Kevin. The clinical detachment of the physician he’d become took over. The snap of gloves had me flinching. Bad memories resurfaced with all the places doctors had shoved unwanted digits during mandatory medical exams. I flinched again as he placed his hands on my shoulder.

  “As I suspected. This one cut into the muscle layers.” His sure fingers traced along the path of the wound from my shoulder to the middle of my back “This one needs stitching too.” He pushed at a spot on my lower back.

  Letting me know where his hands were at all times, he skimmed down my back and over my hips. The press of his thumb over the welt on my ass made my breath hitch.

  “This one is going to take time to heal.”

  “It’s just a bruise.” I may not have nearly the experience Jake or Kevin had with a whip, but I’d seen the destruction of a single tail up close.

  “It’s more than a bruise. I should probably drain it, but that might increase the risk of infection. You’ll need to keep an eye on it. Itching and pain are to be expected, but if the pain worsens or the skin turns red, you need to let me know.”

  “Okay.”

  “You’ve been whipped before.” His fingers traced fine lines on my back. The years had faded the scars, bu
t the nightmares remained.

  “Yes.”

  “This didn’t happen in prison.”

  “Not this one.”

  Those injuries occurred in a world that didn’t care about prisoner’s rights.

  Kevin’s silence either said he understood or that he didn’t care. He’d been with Jake that fateful night. The two of them had taken their girls to one room while I destroyed my life in another.

  The beast within had come out to play, egged on by my willing victim who sacrificed herself to serve my pleasure. Too new to the world of BDSM, I hadn’t been aware of the knowledge I lacked or the safety I failed to provide.

  Detained, convicted, and put away, my life had been erased in Thailand. Jake and Kevin left me there to rot. No, I corrected, that had been the story my father told.

  It still came first to mind.

  Those deep-seated feelings of abandonment didn’t disappear because I knew the truth. Removed from the country at gunpoint, Jake and Kevin left under protest.

  It would be years before I knew the truth, but by then, irreparable damage had been done.

  By me.

  To them.

  My father orchestrated my escape, hidden beneath a fake death. Jake and Kevin thought me truly lost, until our father decided it was time they paid for their sins.

  “Well, I can Steri-Strip the cuts on your chest. No heavy lifting for at least a week. I’ll also put some skin glue on them to help while they heal. That one shouldn’t scar. The one on your back however, is a bit more challenging. Fortunately, this is where I excel.”

  I suppose I should be happy the man stitching my wounds was a plastic surgeon by trade, though I felt nothing but regret as he closed the lacerations his wife placed on me.

  Those scars deserved to be remembered.

  “Scars don’t bother me. I have plenty.”

  He released a soft sigh. “I’m sorry.”

  “For what?” I turned, surprised by his words.

  The soft eyes of my friend stared back at me. “I wish things had turned out differently for you. There are a lot of things I wish were different.” True regret simmered in his eyes and he bore it in the slump of his shoulders. He was apologizing to me?

  “Kevin, I’m truly sorry.”

  He shook his head. “Don’t. I have my regrets, but I’m not willing to forgive what you did. Even knowing how it went down, we deserved more from you. I’ll stitch you up, but we’re not fixing what’s between us. Get that out of your head. Now, lie on the table.”

  I turned away from my friend. It would be a long time before I could make amends. I gritted my teeth through the pain as Kevin sewed my skin back together. The cut had to be longer and deeper than I thought because he spent two hours leaning over my back while dragging sutures through my skin. When he was done, he shot a syringe full of antibiotics into my left ass cheek.

  “No heavy lifting for a week.” He scribbled on a pad, ripped off a piece of paper, and held it out. “You’ll need to get this filled.”

  I took the prescription and realized I had no idea how to do that. The state had released me back into the world wholly unprepared to navigate the complexities of something like medical care.

  I shoved it into my pocket, or rather, the pocket of Jake’s jeans. I’d have to go upstairs to retrieve my wallet. Which had me thinking about credit cards and that started an avalanche of things I needed to do now that I was once again a real person.

  When I made it upstairs, I was surprised to see Ben Chambers sitting on my bed. I suppose he would’ve sat in a chair if the room had one.

  “Did the doc stitch you up?” Evidently, he knew what Lily had done.

  “I suppose.” I rubbed where Kevin jabbed a needle in my ass.

  “We have a few things to discuss.”

  “We do?”

  He tossed me a thick manila envelope, and I caught it against my chest.

  “Open it,” he said.

  The envelope had some weight to it. I dutifully opened it, then glanced at Chambers with wide eyes. “What the fuck?”

  “Passports, IDs, driver’s license, credit cards, got you the fancy AmEx card too. You have account numbers and access codes.”

  I flipped through the contents, speechless by what I found.

  Chambers kept rattling on. “Jake said you were gonna buy clothes. No need to do that. I got your measurements off him and we’ll have stuff delivered.”

  “You may want to adjust that.”

  “Huh?”

  “Jake and I aren’t the same size.” Not anymore.

  “Oh.” Chambers sized me up. “Shit.” He flipped out his phone and sent a text. “Okay, I’ll have my guy come here to get your measurements.”

  “Don’t need measurements. I’m headed out to get shit.”

  He grinned. “Need measurements for the suit and tux.”

  “The fuck? What do I need that for?”

  “Didn’t Kate tell you?”

  “You were there.”

  “I was late. I’m sorry, I thought she told you everything.”

  “She told me I was to pose as a buyer, buy a girl, rape her, and infiltrate the ranks.”

  Chambers pulled at his chin. “You don’t have to rape the girl. Shit do you think we’re that twisted?”

  “Do you have any idea what these things are like?”

  His eyes narrowed. “Actually, I have a pretty good idea. There are a lot of things you can do to the girl without actually raping her. I’m sure you’ll get creative.”

  “I thought it was supposed to be authentic? Gain their trust and all that shit. Unless the girl knows? Is she an undercover operative?”

  “It won’t be an act. The girl isn’t one of ours. She’s a victim.”

  “Then shit, what am I supposed to do?”

  “Train her, asshole. Do all the things required to make it real.”

  “This is fucked.”

  “It’s necessary.”

  “And sanctioned by the FBI?”

  “Sanctioned by my boss.”

  “That’s not an answer.” He wasn’t telling me the whole truth.

  “The FBI is aware and providing support, which is where I come in, but this operation is privately funded.”

  Now that was interesting.

  “By whom?”

  “Not something you need to know.”

  “I’d say I damn well need to know, considering it’s my neck on the line.”

  “Your neck is covered.”

  “I want to know who your boss is.”

  “That knowledge can get you killed, and if this operation goes south, it’s not something we want getting out.”

  “You think I can’t keep my mouth shut?”

  “I think torture can make a man do just about anything.”

  He had a point. Although, I’d learned a thing or two about surviving.

  “Now, let me tell you the things you need to know.”

  Ben Chambers surprised me. I thought he was some FBI stiff, but he had in-depth understanding of the sex trade, the traffickers they were after, and coached me on exactly what would be expected.

  It was simple really. My accounts had been refilled, not with my money, but an anonymous donor. This made me wonder how legitimate this operation was, but Chambers showed me his credentials. He at least was the real deal.

  I sensed there was more going on, kind of a bigger game at play. Chambers didn’t care shit about shutting down the operation. I was to encourage its spread, as if that made any sense. As long as I made my way into the inner workings, I satisfied the goals set for me.

  The idea of being controlled by people I didn’t know did not sit well with me, but Mitzy and that damn 8 by 10 photograph kept flashing in my mind.

  There was at least one girl I could save, even if it meant destroying her first.

  Chambers left when the tailor arrived. I had everything I needed to escape my previous life, including a passport. Just a few hours ago, my parole confined m
e within Georgia state borders. According to Chambers, not only did I have the court’s permission to travel outside the state, but I could take off and go anywhere in the world. What did they know that I did not?

  Nothing kept me here. With the money in the accounts Chambers left, which I verified, I could live like a king. He said it was to maintain my cover. I knew what it was. It was one unhealthy temptation.

  After the tailor left, I sat and pondered my options. Then, I cursed Mitzy and that damn 8 by 10 photograph.

  Chapter 8

  Ben Chambers had the contacts I needed. Jake and Kevin held pieces of my past, and while Jake seemed to want to keep me at Stripes, that wasn’t going to work.

  To be the monster they wanted, I had to embrace my darkness. That couldn’t happen anywhere near Stripes, my brother, or Kevin. I shoved my wallet with all my fancy new credit cards into my back pocket and walked away. The only number in my cellphone belonged to a burner Chambers carried.

  I shouldn’t have been such a dick about it, but I stole Jake’s Harley. The roar of the engine as I flew down the roads vibrated deep in my balls. The bike screamed with fury and I let it loose, opening the throttle and grinning like a fool.

  It had been years since I’d felt such joy and freedom. The bike chewed through asphalt as my thoughts turned to what it would be like to have a woman wrapped around me, screaming her lungs out. Not screams of fear, but devout passion as we explored our mutual pleasure.

  My heart thundered and sweat trickled down my back. Fueled by memories of the things I’d done versus the things I wanted. My thoughts surged and thrashed, beating me up from the inside out. If I had gloves on, they would be slick with sweat.

  Instead, the force of the wind laughed in the face of the oppressive Georgia heat. I pushed the bike too fast, exceeding speed limits I should respect. The last thing I needed was a speeding ticket that would land me in front of a judge, but I didn’t care.

  I shook off the irrelevant thoughts and focused on the adrenaline spiking in my veins. Jake and I had twin bikes growing up. Nothing as perfect as a Harley, our sport bikes had carried us through our teenage years with girls wrapped around us as we drank in life. We had such passion back then, dreams filled with a forever stretching beyond the horizon.